‘No more of this ritual humiliation at Newcastle United’

Before our Saudi salvation, I used to say to my mates that I was setting myself up for another session of ritual humiliation – ie watching a Newcastle United match.

An unholy ground not quite full of fans, who had slowly shuffled, heads down in defeat, to watch yet another demoralising game of uninspired lacklustre so-called football.

Days before this, I would suffer from pre-match jitters when I would wonder how many goals Newcastle United would lose by and how many points we would shed.

There was also the thought of the fat parasite of an owner laughing as fans squandered hard earned cash to witness yet another defeat in his giant advertising hoarding.

Our players seemed to hobble around the pitch puffing and blowing like a 20 Woodbines a day smoker, in certain cases appearing to lack commitment and / or self-belief.

Then one November night my best mate rang me and said “put the local radio on.”

That’s when my jaw dropped in surprise and my eyes filled with tears of joy. For our beloved heart and soul of our city was finally free of the cancer that had dragged it down.

After being allowed to have his thousandth game in charge, the man responsible for the drop in form was gone and a young, ambitious and well versed Toon legend in the making started the long process of rehabilitation.

Now our Cathedral On The Hill is once again our fortress.

The Newcastle United owners, head coach, players and fans are like a happy family.

We are once again Newcastle United and that ritual humiliation has turned into happy celebration, for the long sleeping giant is finally waking from its slumbers!